The end is neigh

Today was horrendous. I stayed up way past my bedtime last night to go see Star Trek, which by the way is fricking awesome, and then I had to go to church. There was nothing I could do to convince my mom that what we needed to do as a family was sleep in on mothers day and then go to her churchy picnic. But no. I didn't get to sleep until 3:40 and then I had to wake up at 4:50 to send home my boyfriend. I am the devil reincarnated to his family. Hes not supposed to stay even close to that late but its worse if he does stay the night even though we are both adults and in a serious relationship. Also we are not sex fiends so I don't know why his dad thinks that's all we do. Anywho so I tolerated church left got cigarettes and went home to sleep off my sleep hangover. At about 5 we had to go have diner with my parents new church friends they're a nice couple I like the man more than the woman she way to weird about certain things. But all in all I really like them they have been nothing but nice and helpful to my family. The only crappy part is the woman's brother. He is an IV user and has contracted AIDS, this is my first encounter with a drug user who has gotten sick. I am very lucky I am not in his shoes myself. All of us know he is sick and he knows that we know, but he is so careless. He coughs, sneezes, and touches all of the silverware. He drinks out of sodas and put them around other sodas so then you're not sure who's is who's. He is very sick and self medicates, but he could if he took better care of himself, help to work towards a cure. He has been offered many times to try tests. What also bothers me is that he doesn't care about the fact that it is his fault he is sick, and he doesn't want to help others who are sick, and he sure as hell doesn't want to help himself. I was so bugged by him, he even offered me a hit of weed. Not that he knows anything about me but just the fact that he says that to his sisters friends kids. Very nice. Good job Christians you got another winner. You can keep him.

Infested

So as I was working on my essay last weekend I slowly diverted to other things. I kinda just need a break but then I just lost total interest in writing. So I was looking up stuff just for fun then I thought of a movie that I hadn't really seen but remembered. The movie I thought was called "Ticks" only later did I discover that its original title is "Infested". So I start just watching the movie and I am so bored yet hooked so I stay then I notice that one role is filled with an extremely young and little Seth Green. So I watch a little longer. Then this is the best part, another role is filled with guy from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Carlton. This guy is such a bad actor in general but I don't think I've ever seen someone so bad at acting in their own ethnicity. He was playing this tough ghetto kid role... Ugh so the movie goes that there is a pot farmer out in the sticks in wilderness near L.A.. This farmer is using some type of steroid to make the pot grow fast and big some how some of the steroid lands on a tick or tick egg I couldn't really tell which. Its extremely low budget. Seth and Carlton are with a group of troubled teens going into a wilderness program for summer. Nice huh? So more and more ticks come and they get bigger and badder. I haven't seen such a bad movie for a while. Although Ben Aflec and one of his other buddies did make a horror movie that was beyond this in repulsiveness by far. It was way to sexual for any type of horror movie. Even the monsters were having sex. I don't know how I come to find these movies. I honestly think they find me. Or maybe I do find them, they look interesting so I give them a chance and rent them or whatever. And then I'm just repulsed for many various reasons. Weird I know but I cant get enough of the horror flicks.

Virus?

It amazes me with how many diseases and viruses that can damage the body. It also amazes me that with all these horrible things we are still thriving as a species. From the stuff we pass on to our kids to the stuff we do to ourselves and then just all the remaining viruses that change constantly. Ya sure we have all this new technology but how dies it help us when we don't even have a clue where to start. Like the new swine flu that is going around, scientist think that it could be part swine, part avian, part human. They don't have a clue about the virus only that it resembles the flu. Its getting sent to the CDC but we don't know when or if the CDC will start to analyze it. There is also talk that this virus might be a new influenza pandemic, but its to early to know. I just don't see why if this could be the virus that wipes millions of people out is there no sense of urgency. I think its kind of like herpes and syphilis some one was having sex with a pig. Yes that is where we got herpes and syphilis animals and people who couldn't figure out how to relieve sexual tension manually. Herpes is from our cousins the chimps and syphilis is from sheep. So any who, while all the official people make it seem like no biggie there are already cases in California. If that is too broad then how about this, there have been seven cases in a Fair Oaks school. The school closed down to try and help isolate sick kids but more reports are coming in. I don't know about other people but this really scares me, aside from the fact that I'm already a kind of paranoid person to begin with. We don't have any vaccines, no one knows what symptoms look like other than a flu, and no one knows about incubation periods or how it spreads. So after reading all this stuff I just wrote I was moderately concerned but not too freaked out and then I thought, What if I get sick? How am I supposed to treat it? Then I thought, O Lord if I get sick what if I get my family sick or my boyfriend? If I got my mom sick or even just carried it home, my mom could be in some serious trouble. Shes been very sick for quite some time she never gets any worse or better but she catches my dads cold my colds even my boyfriends colds really fast. Then she has a hard time getting rid of them. But if she got this virus what if she didn't have time to fight it because her body takes so much longer? Now I'm pretty scared. I just pray that the virus hasn't and wont reach up here. And if and when it does hopefully they'll have some idea about how to treat it.

Liar and the Lamb

So every Sunday I go to church with my parents. I do this to keep peace in the house. They found God, I still am not convinced and the church goers aren't making it any easier. I know these people are still people and everyone of course has flaws and bad habits, but wow these people just plain suck. So on Easter Sunday my mom volunteered us to help with the day care. I said yes because I thought we were going to be with infants and toddlers. No of course not we're with the preschoolers. Not all the kids were horrible actually most were pretty nice, but there has got to be one stick in the mud right? This little girl has got to be an only child, she would not listen to any of the helpers. Telling us "NO" more than once then going off and stealing others kids toys. Their Sunday School class ended and the kids got to play a bit before their parents came. My mom and I started to talk we both agreed that the little girl was a snobby brat. We then notice the little girl pushing a kid size fire engine around in circles almost colliding with another little kid every time she made a round. I told my mom that I had the horrible urge to stick my foot out to stop her. I decided better on it. I notice my mom walking in the direction of the little girl, and then she did it. The little girl came to a screeching halt and rammed her head into the truck not too hard just enough to piss her off. My mom played it off like it was an accident. Now before you think my mom and I totally horrible people the little girl went into other frenzies that I didn't mention just for times sake. OK so after that I then have to go sit through service. Only they have very few seats left and no one will move their crap over so me and my family could sit together. People saved up to a whole row for themselves and "Friends". They couldn't even work it out to help a family of three. This church pisses me off, the people and their kids treat you like crap, the parking lot is a battle Field, and these people who are supposed to have good morals let their teeny bopping daughters dress like tramps, and at CHURCH no less. Ya these people are awesome. So long as they go to church, pray, and don't cuss they think that they can make up lost time for being dicks. It just bothers me that people claim to be good Christians and they do stuff like this. I went to the Sacramento Church for the Deaf today. I haven't met a group of Christians who were so kind, welcoming, and patient. I wonder if having a struggle like they do is all it takes to really become a humble kind person. Because if so I'm going to turn up the music super loud from now on.

Do you ever see people with dogs (or kids both apply) and the dog/kid is being really obnoxious. Dogs for example jumping all over owner, pulling excessively on leash, or endless barking, and the owner doesn't correct the behavior. Sometimes they even think its cute. To all you owners who think that IT"S NOT FREAKIN CUTE!!!! Your dog is being a menace. As most of you know I work at a vet clinic, I do all sorts of things from cleaning to assisting the vet tech and the vet. I recently had to help the vet tech with a shitzo. This dog was one of the worst I've encountered. I had to restrain the dog( this is normal if we feel the dog might bite and wiggle too much). We drew blood and the dog was growling and wiggling really bad, still not to out of the norm. We then let the dog calm down and I proceeded to restrain the dog again so the tech could get a temp. Now I totally understand this can be very uncomfortable and normally we get some whines and sometimes the dog will try to sit down. But this SHITzo, really started to thrash,growl, and snarl worse than when he got poked. We got the temp and he's still freaking out so much that I've lost my grip and I'm using his harness so he wont get loose. Then he has the gal to BITE ME! No he didn't break the skin it just stung. But this was the first time ever I had been bitten out of rage and fear. So after that he is returned to exam room where his parent is waiting. I leave to go do my laundry. When I'm outside I notice the dog walking with a stuck up looking lady, I think to myself Ya that's what I was expecting, but that's when I noticed something else. This stuck up lady who wont discipline her dog not to bite, has a 4 year old daughter as well. Ya that's gonna be wonderful when that kid has poked that dog one too many times and does get a good enough grip to break the skin. And I beat that the little girl will get in trouble not the dog. This is soooo not ok with me. If you have a dog that's grouchy and untrained that's one thing but when you put a young child and that crabby dog together that's a whole new brand of kibble. I think its also annoying how people will buy dogs that they think will be a good family dog A.K.A dalmations, shitzos, and chow chows, are some of the dogs that really have no tolerance for kids. But the dogs like, wolf and any type of bull terrier get construed as killers and dangerous. This is so not the case. On the same day I got bite by the shitzo I also had a rescued pit bull named spike. Even after being abused and left for dead, I would trust this dog no matter what. He gives nothing but affection and lives mannerly in a home with two other rescued pits and two very small boys. And as for the wolves I had two growing up, I could do anything to these dogs and they would not even think about giving me a dirty look. They protected me like I was one of their own pups. And when they did have pups I was trusted by them to watch and touch, right after they were born. On my last note, I just have to say that you could make any dog a killer and dangerous, just because some breeds got a bad rap doesn't mean its true. And besides how do you think they got that way, its the owners job to be a loving and supporting pack leader. The owner can shape the dog into any personality they want its their choice to make them a dangerous dog not the other way around.

Meh....

I don't really know what to about. Nothing really exciting good or bad happened this weekend. I did choke on some juice this morning while trying to scream then dropped my cigarette and burned my boob. And yes I said BOOB. So not that this is all amazing just a little insight to my cat like reflexes combined with the klutziest girl skills E V E R. I got up and went to my car to smoke. I must sit in the car because to rent the house my parents lied and said no one smoked. Well I do so to kinda cover myself I sit in the car. I was calling my friend Rachel when I noticed movement off to my left, that's when it happened. There was a man cutting a shrub dividing my yard from his. This guy was just standing there out of nowhere. IT scared the crap out of me. But in actuality I guess that's not all so hard when it comes down to it. Which is really weird, I watch some pretty scary and horrific movies you'd think it would take some effort to scare me. That is not the case, I'm so paranoid, I plot escapes from my house if zombies were to attack. Really bizarre I know. Not rational in the slightest but its the way I work. Thankfully my family, friends, and boyfriend accept this part of me and go along with it. Probably not the thing they should do but kudos for placating me. I guess.
My rant for the day. Wonderfully boring in so many ways.
Thanks for listening.

Violence....

On Thursday I got to school and had my normally long class of strange art. I proceeded to put my stuff into my car, and get ready for Sign Language. Once I got to class there was a big hand written sign on the board. ATTENTION FEMALES- STAY AWAY FROM WAL-MART TONIGHT! Confused I looked to my friend and asked whats the deal? I already hate Wal-Mart and I'm just thinking they've committed a new atrocity. But no its not them, only gang. This gangs initiation is to go into a Wal-Mart (which one was unspecified no one knew which) and they were going to pick off three girls. Age and race not determined I don't think it really mattered. At this point I'm dumbfounded and scared to even leave the building to get to my car. To think that all you have to do to get into a tough gang is kill women at gun point. What a real man they must be. You rarely see these gangs go up against a guy as big as them. It really sickens me. To make me more nervous something else happened closer to me. My boyfriend is a shift manager at Round Table in Town Center. He usually gets home the latest at 10:30 but this Saturday night he didn't call me until 11:30. By the time he does call me I practically going insane with all the bad things that could have happened. He says he's fine a long night. Also that a guy who used to work with him came in. The guy, Zack, told my boyfriend he wanted Thomas(bf) to come to a party, right this minute. Thomas declined. We're not party people and he was at work. Zack started threatening to throw food around and then kick customers if Thomas didn't agree to go. He finally agreed just so Zack would leave. Zack grabbed him by the shirt and lifted him off the ground telling Thomas not to bullshit him. He said he wasn't. Zack then calmed down and said that he better be there or he would come back Sunday and get him. He would come back with another boy who is a neo-nazi. I was just there having lunch with him. Zack hadn't shown up but I'm terrified that he is going to wait for the store to close, and hang out there until the boys leave and try and hurt Thomas. I'm so nervous my stomach is on fire. I can't decide whether I need to pray to the porcelain god or eat a bunch of candy. I really think that as a country we are on our last legs and as a world we a gently making the final swirl in to the dead fish grave yard.

Hmmm...

Do you ever look at some people and wonder, "Why on earth do people flock to you?". There is a boy, I call him this because I don't think he deserves the title of MAN, and girls just can't get enough of him. He has nothing to offer these girls and maybe they have nothing to offer him, but I just can't get my head around the fact that these girls usually do look like they have a lot to offer. Its a strange thing to watch, like some bizzare bug mating on animal planet. You cringe a litte and make a sour puckered face. This boy does drugs, he's not cute, he doesn't have a job, and he's certainly not nice. I guess it is a sort if classic thing that some women do. I've seen it a couple times before yet this time it is the most annoying. I don't really see him that often but when I do their is usually a girl some where near looking for him. I know that boys/men sometimes have this same quirk of following a girl to nowhereville, but I don't see that as much and when I do it just don't find it as strange. I guess I just want girls/women to find the right type of person to be with. Not just some one for some instant gratification time. There is more life than that and so much more beyond that in a relationship. There shouldn't be anymore rape, domestic abuse, or molestation. And its a sad thing that our species does this sort of thing to itself. Which I will side track... There is a movie I recommend for girls. Especially if you been hurt in any one of the things I said above. The movie is called "Teeth". Watch THIS MOVIE!!!

Why?

So every Sunday(usually) I have to go to church with my family. I don't believe in God. I think in all honesty Jesus was a cool guy who had many talents. But that's all he was, just some guy. But when he died his friends wanted to play up the hip so that they could be like,"ya, Jesus, we were best buds" or "ya I so gave Jesus the idea for that" so they would look cool. Or pick up some girl.By now people read way too much into this story. Why? We have so little proof that this kinda of stuff happened but NEVER did anything like it happen again. Thats what we call fairy tales. Stuff to give us hope, something to look forward to. Not something to live your life by. People claim "oh Im such a good christian" and then ask people if its ok to kill gay blacks in San Fransico. The teen christians drink, smoke and sleep around almost as much as a normal teen that has no bleifs and thats ok? Just because they read the bible? I DO NOT approve... I cant get my head around this though, one day our sermon is about angels. There were missonaries in Africa, and a tribe close by wanted to go on a killing spree for some reason. This tribe passed the missonaries hut because they claimed to see angels guarding their hut. So they moved on to another unsuspecting tribe and killed them all. No mercy. Only becuase they didnt know about being a christian or because they didnt want to go that route. This does not make sense. Innocent people died becuase they weren't christ followers. This is one of the stupidest things I've heard. Millions of people die all the time. Death is not discrimante on whether or not you believe in some guy who makes promises He can't freaking keep.
So my question is still posed why is this way of belief ok and accepted? Becuase we are afraid to think that if there isnt a God then what does that mean? Where will we go when we die? Who made us? Why did they make us?
All in all it comes down to can you live without knowing what will or wont happen to you if He's not up there? The answer is yes. We continue to live without understaning or knowing many of the mysteries of our universe.

*GRRR*SNARL*!!!!!!!!

I hate to admitt this to the public but I'm a super geek about "Twilight". Im not just a geek but SUPER GEEK! You have to say it like Super Man says his name to get the full effect. Now to the point of me admitting such a crazy thing to thousands of people I don't know. So here I am at work cleaning the endless streams of hair, when I hear something on the radio about "Twilight" I don't really pay to much attention, every body still kind of mentions it from time to time, but thats when the show host says two words. These to words are like orgasmic screaming words, CASTING CALL. I drop what I'm doing and run to the back exam room this is where our radio is. I plop down on the rollie doctors chair and stair at the radio. "Thats right a casting call for the new Twilight movie. So if your Native American and love Twilight you know what to do." I went from slobbering and panting like I had rabies to blubbering like a little school with a rassberry on my knee. I was so mad. Still am, thats why I'm writing. So then I went to check online, of course while still at work I'm waiting for my boyfriend to call me for dinner, and then I see it. The golden light. The casting is still open I might be able to do it and bring my beast mobile with me. AHhhhhhh drooling again. I start to shake, the date is the 17, I think this can work, mom and dad will understand me missing a little school. Especially to just meet some people. At this point I can't stop the drool.
Thats when the next horrible thing pops up. The casting call is only for locals. FOR FREAKING LOCALS! And of course I don't happen to be a local of Orgean. GRRR...
This is my rant and rave. I think I should stop talking on my bosses dollar.
Thanks for listening.

The Killer In Disguise

I bet almost everyone who knows what a veterinarian is thinks that they are a kind and compassionate person towards animals. Well I'm so sorry to burst this bubble but that is pretty far from the truth. I work at an animal hospital. Its pretty small and we have a fairly large client base which I find surpriseing. I have worked at this clinic for almost for months. The two vet techs we have are pretty caluse towards most of the animals, and the Vet Dr. really is nothing but that. I think the times that they are the worst is when a pet has died. Or when we have to put an animal down. The family can stay with the pet for as long as they think they can, which if they had it their way it would be right after the pet passed away. After the family leaves we (as in me or anyone else who the vet makes do it) go into the little exam room take the pet into the behind the scences exam room and put the animal in a garbage bag. Now this has to the most disrespectful thing to do to a dead body. It doesnt matter to them though becuase its just more money to them, they get to charge the euthenasia and the cremation of the pet. I can believe they put the pets in GARBAGE BAGS. The whole meaning behind this product is to throw AWAY things that we deam as GARBAGE, not our loved ones. The whole reason I'm writing this is so that people will be more careful in where they take their pet for love and care for a long healthy life. On this last Thursday I had work before school an old lab was put down. I agree with the fact that he was old and prbably suffering, but I alone had to carry him to where we keep the pets until the are cremated, a large freezer. He had to be at least 50 lbs of dead weight, and I accidentally dropped him. I felt really bad about that. Then shortly after him a puppy came in. A litter was born at 12 a.m.. The puppy had died it looked like becuase the mother had rolled onto the puppy. The poor thing lay on a paper plate in the back with her mouth open. She looked cold so I kept wanting to cover her, or poke her to start crying for her mother. She never did. The Vet was angrey the owner had brought in the dead puppy saying, "I don't know what they want ME to do about it." He then order the vet tech to throw the puppy away. She put the puppy in a zip lock bag and and dropped her into the garbage like the poor puppy was nothing but some used tissue paper.
So please make sure you REALLY KNOW who is taking care of you extened family.