Sunday, March 29, 2009


I don't really know what to about. Nothing really exciting good or bad happened this weekend. I did choke on some juice this morning while trying to scream then dropped my cigarette and burned my boob. And yes I said BOOB. So not that this is all amazing just a little insight to my cat like reflexes combined with the klutziest girl skills E V E R. I got up and went to my car to smoke. I must sit in the car because to rent the house my parents lied and said no one smoked. Well I do so to kinda cover myself I sit in the car. I was calling my friend Rachel when I noticed movement off to my left, that's when it happened. There was a man cutting a shrub dividing my yard from his. This guy was just standing there out of nowhere. IT scared the crap out of me. But in actuality I guess that's not all so hard when it comes down to it. Which is really weird, I watch some pretty scary and horrific movies you'd think it would take some effort to scare me. That is not the case, I'm so paranoid, I plot escapes from my house if zombies were to attack. Really bizarre I know. Not rational in the slightest but its the way I work. Thankfully my family, friends, and boyfriend accept this part of me and go along with it. Probably not the thing they should do but kudos for placating me. I guess.
My rant for the day. Wonderfully boring in so many ways.
Thanks for listening.

Sunday, March 22, 2009


On Thursday I got to school and had my normally long class of strange art. I proceeded to put my stuff into my car, and get ready for Sign Language. Once I got to class there was a big hand written sign on the board. ATTENTION FEMALES- STAY AWAY FROM WAL-MART TONIGHT! Confused I looked to my friend and asked whats the deal? I already hate Wal-Mart and I'm just thinking they've committed a new atrocity. But no its not them, only gang. This gangs initiation is to go into a Wal-Mart (which one was unspecified no one knew which) and they were going to pick off three girls. Age and race not determined I don't think it really mattered. At this point I'm dumbfounded and scared to even leave the building to get to my car. To think that all you have to do to get into a tough gang is kill women at gun point. What a real man they must be. You rarely see these gangs go up against a guy as big as them. It really sickens me. To make me more nervous something else happened closer to me. My boyfriend is a shift manager at Round Table in Town Center. He usually gets home the latest at 10:30 but this Saturday night he didn't call me until 11:30. By the time he does call me I practically going insane with all the bad things that could have happened. He says he's fine a long night. Also that a guy who used to work with him came in. The guy, Zack, told my boyfriend he wanted Thomas(bf) to come to a party, right this minute. Thomas declined. We're not party people and he was at work. Zack started threatening to throw food around and then kick customers if Thomas didn't agree to go. He finally agreed just so Zack would leave. Zack grabbed him by the shirt and lifted him off the ground telling Thomas not to bullshit him. He said he wasn't. Zack then calmed down and said that he better be there or he would come back Sunday and get him. He would come back with another boy who is a neo-nazi. I was just there having lunch with him. Zack hadn't shown up but I'm terrified that he is going to wait for the store to close, and hang out there until the boys leave and try and hurt Thomas. I'm so nervous my stomach is on fire. I can't decide whether I need to pray to the porcelain god or eat a bunch of candy. I really think that as a country we are on our last legs and as a world we a gently making the final swirl in to the dead fish grave yard.

Sunday, March 8, 2009


Do you ever look at some people and wonder, "Why on earth do people flock to you?". There is a boy, I call him this because I don't think he deserves the title of MAN, and girls just can't get enough of him. He has nothing to offer these girls and maybe they have nothing to offer him, but I just can't get my head around the fact that these girls usually do look like they have a lot to offer. Its a strange thing to watch, like some bizzare bug mating on animal planet. You cringe a litte and make a sour puckered face. This boy does drugs, he's not cute, he doesn't have a job, and he's certainly not nice. I guess it is a sort if classic thing that some women do. I've seen it a couple times before yet this time it is the most annoying. I don't really see him that often but when I do their is usually a girl some where near looking for him. I know that boys/men sometimes have this same quirk of following a girl to nowhereville, but I don't see that as much and when I do it just don't find it as strange. I guess I just want girls/women to find the right type of person to be with. Not just some one for some instant gratification time. There is more life than that and so much more beyond that in a relationship. There shouldn't be anymore rape, domestic abuse, or molestation. And its a sad thing that our species does this sort of thing to itself. Which I will side track... There is a movie I recommend for girls. Especially if you been hurt in any one of the things I said above. The movie is called "Teeth". Watch THIS MOVIE!!!

Sunday, March 1, 2009


So every Sunday(usually) I have to go to church with my family. I don't believe in God. I think in all honesty Jesus was a cool guy who had many talents. But that's all he was, just some guy. But when he died his friends wanted to play up the hip so that they could be like,"ya, Jesus, we were best buds" or "ya I so gave Jesus the idea for that" so they would look cool. Or pick up some girl.By now people read way too much into this story. Why? We have so little proof that this kinda of stuff happened but NEVER did anything like it happen again. Thats what we call fairy tales. Stuff to give us hope, something to look forward to. Not something to live your life by. People claim "oh Im such a good christian" and then ask people if its ok to kill gay blacks in San Fransico. The teen christians drink, smoke and sleep around almost as much as a normal teen that has no bleifs and thats ok? Just because they read the bible? I DO NOT approve... I cant get my head around this though, one day our sermon is about angels. There were missonaries in Africa, and a tribe close by wanted to go on a killing spree for some reason. This tribe passed the missonaries hut because they claimed to see angels guarding their hut. So they moved on to another unsuspecting tribe and killed them all. No mercy. Only becuase they didnt know about being a christian or because they didnt want to go that route. This does not make sense. Innocent people died becuase they weren't christ followers. This is one of the stupidest things I've heard. Millions of people die all the time. Death is not discrimante on whether or not you believe in some guy who makes promises He can't freaking keep.
So my question is still posed why is this way of belief ok and accepted? Becuase we are afraid to think that if there isnt a God then what does that mean? Where will we go when we die? Who made us? Why did they make us?
All in all it comes down to can you live without knowing what will or wont happen to you if He's not up there? The answer is yes. We continue to live without understaning or knowing many of the mysteries of our universe.